How to Save Your Marriage When Only One Spouse Wants a Divorce

I'm often told (and I know from experience) that the world would be a much simpler place if both spouses were on board with a divorce at the same time. However, this is rarely the case. In my experience, more often than not, one spouse is ready to throw in the towel while the other wants desperately to pick up the pieces and fight for the marriage. However, saving your marriage when you are the only one who wants to can be a very difficult task. Often the divorcing spouse won't listen to (or isn't receptive to) anything that you say or do. They only want to move forward with the divorce and will block out any attempts that you make to change their mind. You're often left feeling like your only choices are to: demean yourself and plead; try to pull out all of the stops; try to manipulate them into changing their mind; or just giving up / or giving in. There's another way to handle this that often works better in the long run. It's approaching this situation from another angle and it requires controlling the only thing that you can control right now - yourself.

Take A Careful Look At What You're Really Saying Or Implying To Your Spouse: Obviously, you've given your spouse the verbal message that you want to save the marriage rather than getting a divorce. But is that the only thing that your words, gestures, and non verbal cues are saying? Often the way that you say things and the action that you take speaks just as loudly (if not more so) than any words that you could say. Often, divorcing spouses tell me that they believe the spouse who wants to save the marriage has tried to "beat them down" to get them to "give in."

And many times, (although neither of you may consciously realize it) your tone often implies that they are just wrong and not entitled to want things to be better. They will often read this as your not thinking that their needs or wishes are as valid as yours or that they are gravely mistaken about their own life. This is certainly not the message that you want to send to someone that you are trying to convince to stay.

Make Sure That The Message You Are Sending Is The One They Want To Hear: Stop and think about it. Why is it, really, that your spouse is blocking access to them right now? Because you are saying what he doesn't want to hear. You are trying to change his mind and get him to "give in." No one wants to emerge the loser in this stand off, of course. So, he's going to do everything that he can to block out your words and actions. Clearly, this is not what you want. To save your marriage, you'll need him to be available and receptive to you. So, how do you get around this and how do you move from where you are now to where you eventually need to be? You change your message so that you are (for right now) telling him the message that he wants to hear.

Before you think this advice is just crazy, please know that I'm not telling you to give up or give in. Not at all. I'm telling you this because this is the way that you are going to regain access to your spouse. So, at a time when no one is rushed and everyone is calm, convincingly tell your spouse that you've been thinking about the marriage and you now agree that it is seriously flawed, not working for you both, and that your spouse is absolutely right for wanting to change things. Tell him that although you both know that you want to save the marriage, you have to admit that a truce could do you both good. Explain that no matter how this ultimately works out, that your spouse is too important to you to part with anything but good terms. Vow to act in such a way that is going to ensure that (at least from your end) you will have no regrets about the way that you have handled this.

Now, I doubt very seriously that this alone will bring on a miraculous change at first. Your spouse will likely not instantly believe your change of heart. That's OK because you are prepared to wait it out and to prove them wrong. You proceed by doing exactly what you said - you give them their space, you conduct yourself in way that you can be proud of, and you make sure that they know that you are using taking full advantage of the space yourself.

Putting Your Best Self On Full Display: I have many spouses tell me that the real, true reason that they want the divorce is because they feel that the marriage has gone cold and they don't see how this could ever change. They believe that is too late for any real and lasting change. Many times, they miss the spouse that they used to have before responsibilities and life got in the way. They long for the way things used to be, when you would listen intently to what they said, laugh at their jokes, and care deeply about their happiness. They often tell me the spouse who used to have the easy laugh and open heart is now closed off.

Why is this important for you to know? Because you have the ability to change what you are showing them. You are the person they want back. You've just buried the part of yourself that they love the most. You both may think it's too late, but it's often not. The key for you right now (once you've changed the message you are sending) is to put the light hearted, vibrant person they first loved on full display again so that he knows she still exists. I don't mean putting on a show when he doesn't want to see one. I mean going out with friends, conducting yourself as the best version of you, and making sure your spouse knows about this. It's very likely that once he does, he'll want to see more for himself. And when he does, you keep right on doing what is going to work, little by little, until your marriage is back on solid ground.

Ending a Marriage: How to Survive It

People who get married have the notion of happily ever after. However, with the continuous rise of divorce in the country, you already know that a lot don't end up that way. If you ever find yourself in a broken marriage, you should know that there's hope. There's a way for you to get back on your feet and cope with the pain more effectively.

What You Can Do

Try to resolve it. Some marriages don't have to go through the painful divorce phase. Before you finally say it's completely over, try to resolve the issues. Who knows, you may be able to save the relationship.

Learn to accept the truth. If you can no longer put a decent resolution to the problem, then you should start accepting the truth that the marriage may already be over. This can be a very hard decision to make, but unless you can embrace the reality, you will never be able to find the opportunity to move on and look forward to what the future may be waiting for you.

Be mindful of your health. A divorce can definitely damage your health. There will be plenty of sleepless nights, a struggle with depression and anxiety, a battle with pent-up emotions such as anger and hurt, as well as loss of appetite and confidence. The process is extremely stressful.

But you really cannot afford to be sick during this time, especially if you need to take care of your kids. Develop a more proactive way of facing the issue at hand by taking care of yourself. Eat right and exercise. These two things can also remove the toxins that are in the body, making you feel cleaner and fresher. You feel invigorated. Meditation can boost the level of serotonin, so you will get not only a clear mind but also a happier mood.

Use subliminal messages. Keeping your confidence up can be a tough challenge, but you can do it, more so if you're going to use subliminal messages. The subliminal messages can improve your manner of thinking. You can use them to change your negative emotions to positive ones. Check these subliminal messages:

I can definitely get through this pain.
I still believe in love and marriage.
I can fully accept the reality that is in front of me.
I have enough strength that will help me overcome this challenge.

The subliminal messages can provide you a sense of optimism and motivation, especially in times when you think you have been bled dry.

Explore. Surely there are some things you haven't accomplished during your marriage, simply because the marriage itself restrained you from doing so. For example, you cannot meet up with your friends as often as you can or entertain admiration from the men. Rather than sulk and wallow in self-pity, why don't you try to explore these things? It will make you realize there are still so many things that have to be discovered, and the end in marriage doesn't completely end everything about you.

4 Ways To Rebuild A Marriage With The Help Of Subliminal Videos

Marriages today are breaking up left and right. Before your marriage goes all the way downhill and reaches a divorce settlement, it would be best if you take stock of your situation early and try to rebuild it, rather than forsake what are supposed to be lifelong vows without a fight. Thankfully, there are now subliminal videos that can actually help save and rebuild what's lost in your marriage.

It may sound a bit absurd. How can subliminal videos help save a marriage? Subliminal videos are videos or slideshows that deliver hidden messages to the subconscious mind. These messages can be used to change any negative aspects of one's behavior, personality, and beliefs that damage a marriage. And since change occurs from the subconscious, which is what controls all these things, you don't have to do anything else other than just watch the videos and observe improvements in your married life.

Here are the different ways through which different types of subliminal videos can help you save your marriage.

1. See your partner's positive side more strongly. You can use subliminal videos to change you from a negative person to a positive one. This way, you will more strongly see the positive traits of your partner, rather than focus on their negative ones. The tendency to see the bad in people and to find fault in them, especially in your partner, usually develops into a full-blown habit, and this is one of the worst habits that have the greatest effect on your marriage. So with this fickle habit gone, you can see your partner in a more appreciative way.

2. Completely delete past problems and hurts. One of the reasons why a lot of couples break up these days is because they seem to keep a record of everything that their partners have done wrong since they first got married. This is no way to save a marriage. A marriage is a lifelong commitment, so each partner should let bygones be bygones and not keep resentment hidden in their hearts.

There are now subliminal videos that can help you overcome past anger, hurt, and resentment. It eliminates all these negative emotions straight from the roots, which are all found in the subconscious. These videos can cleanse you right up until your emotions are reset. And this time around, you should stop keeping tabs on who's right and who's wrong and rather just be forgiving towards each other.

3. Rewrite trust into the script. If you have experienced a heavy blow in your marriage that have negatively affected the trust that's between the two of you, you can easily rebuild that trust with the help of subliminal videos. By sending the right subliminal messages to your subconscious, the videos can help make you more trusting towards your partner.

4. Improve communication. There are also videos that are designed to help improve the communication skills of each person. If both partners watch these videos, they can start communicating more productively and positively with one another. And as they say, communication is key in a lasting marriage.

Marriage Communication - How Does It Work?

A good marriage thrives on the open exchange of emotion, desires, and beliefs. In fact, communication is one of the most important aspects of a satisfying marriage. Most marriages go through rough times, which can change the way spouses communicate with each other. Many couples develop bad habits and create destructive patterns when things aren't going well.

How Does Communicate Work?

Many people in trouble marriage say, "We just don't communicate anymore." Most likely, they mean to say that they don't communicate effectively anymore. The truth is that people are communicating all the time. Even two people giving each other the silent treatment are communicating with each other.

This article will focus on five common pathways of communication within marriage.

1. non-verbal physical expression (behavior, facial expressions, gestures, etc)

2. spoken or written word

3. touch

4. emotion

5. context of the situation

It's easy to just focus on words, but that's only a fraction of the information couples share back and forth. In the next section, you'll read an example of a potentially difficult situation for a married couple. Look for all the different ways information is being communicated in the story below.