Often we assume that love means to our partners what it means to
us, but the truth is, two people rarely mean the same thing when they
say "I love you." In marriage counseling, we hear time and again the
sometimes plaintive, sometimes desperate words: "I just don't love her
anymore" or "I love him, but I am not in love with him." What this
usually means is that a specific quality that the person wants in love
is missing or has changed.
Let's say a couple goes to a marriage counselor just after 12 months
of marriage. Their first session was brimmed with tension, and they
claimed to have fallen out of love with each other. The wife complains:
"You hardly ever tell me that you love me!" while the husband exclaims
"Of course I love you, but I shouldn't have to tell you that I love you
every waking moment - I do loving things for you. My actions speak
louder than words ever could."
The couple might be having big relationship issues and it has
certainly crossed their minds to just give up on each other and their
marriage by simply getting a divorce. But they still want to work things
out and make their relationship work. That is the reason why they went
to a marriage counselor in the first place, but sometimes, no matter how
hard any couple would really want to make their relationship work and
go back to the way they were before, they still end up separated or
divorced.
Did the couple fall out of love?
No. Their love styles were merely out of sync and are causing insufferable tension. It is not uncommon for one partner to feel loving toward his or her partner while the other feels unloved. More often than not, it's not because their love has withered, it has simply taken on a style that is not meeting the partner's needs.
No. Their love styles were merely out of sync and are causing insufferable tension. It is not uncommon for one partner to feel loving toward his or her partner while the other feels unloved. More often than not, it's not because their love has withered, it has simply taken on a style that is not meeting the partner's needs.
Most women equate love with showers of affection, gifts,
touching, tenderness - all of which makes some men feel uncomfortable
just because they didn't fit into their own perception of love. Most men
express love by avoiding arguments, fixing broken appliances, listening
and bringing home a paycheck to his family. A lot of men want
companionable love while women crave for romantic love. Some needed a
deeper sense of bonding and certainty while others long for more
sensuality.
Don't just assume that how you love is how your partner wants to
be loved. The phrase "I love you" can mean different things to everyone.
Learn to adapt to how your partner perceives love because everyone
gives and receives love differently.
Your Father Loves You - John 3-1
Just the other day, I was driving by a church billboard that reads,
"Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom." Interestingly, this entire
sentence could draw the public in, by changing the words just a little
bit. "Love of God is the beginning of true wisdom," sounds much better,
and is it not the truth?
Would you rather pay your respects to someone you love or someone
you fear? Now, we realize that God is not just "someone," but this
"fear of God" strategy works much more like a cattle prod than the good
shepherd summoning his flock.
For Christians, it is also a misinterpretation of scripture
because we must look at the word of Jesus to see the love of God. Let's
take a close look at John 3:1.
3:1 "Behold, what manner of love the
Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God:
therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not."
For most people, doing God's work is a humble task with little
fame, and God loves you for it. This is not a criticism of those who
have gained fame through religion. There are many religious leaders who
make good role models and a rare few who do not. Unfortunately, bad news
is often "front page news."
The vast majority of people are good. Yet, their thoughts are
barely heard, because "the noisy wheel gets the oil." Small groups have
organized throughout history to undermine the good in life.
Unfortunately, it appears as if most of the world does not really
know God, when organizations, who claim to care about your civil
liberties take immoral actions, and people turn their backs on God.
Russian Romance - I Love You
Romance and Russia, the two words just go together. Unless, of course, you are trying to speak in Russian.
Russian Language
The Russian language is not one that is typically considered a
romance language. Based on the Cyrillic alphabet, there are a lot of
stops and starts not to mention the occasional harsh noise. Given the
fact that I was from California and thus could barely speak proper
English, it was all the more a challenge.
Russian Women
In that I was living in Russia for a year, it was inevitable I
would pick up a Russian girlfriend. Hey, there had to be at least one
crazy one in the city!
Russian women are much sought after for their beauty and grace.
Indeed, 9 out of 10 desperate men prefer to order addresses from a
Russian mail order bride web site versus all other nationalities. Okay, I
made that up, but you get the idea.
In truth, I found Russian women to be all they are touted to be
and excellent cooks. As a single male in Siberia sans microwave, the
cooking part was critical. Due to the lack of Pepto in Siberia,
poisoning oneself is not recommended.
Still, Russian women do suffer from one flaw inherent in all
women. Upon finding a boyfriend lacking in certain areas, a Russian
woman will endeavor to fix them. In my case, the improvement involved
the Russian language and love.
Ya tyebya lyublyu! This is the Russian phrase for "I love you."
At no point in time could I pronounce it correctly. I could declare my
love, but never in the right direction. Because of the nuances of the
Russian language, my inability to profess my love would lead me to say
the equivalent of:
"I love tree"
"I love door"
"I love dog"
Of course, I could cuss like a local, but that was frowned upon by the girlfriend.
After months of aggravation, my girlfriend became determined to
resolve this flaw in my moral character. Practice was the key and
practice I did. Like that odd person in the bookstore, I mumbled "Ya
tyebya lyublyu!" everywhere I went. This often led to random Russian
women smiling at me and less enthusiastic Russian men giving me harsh
looks. I won't even mention what the occasional dog tried to do to my
leg. Despite my efforts, my immortal soul could not be fixed. We gave
up. Still, she had the determined look in her eyes, so I knew I wasn't
out of the woods yet.
One fine Siberian winter morning, which is to say it was -30
degrees, I was groggily greeted by an excited Tatyana. I was ordered to
say "yellow blue bus." I did. I was told to say it faster. I did. A yelp
of triumph was heard across the permafrost of Siberia.
I had learned how to say "I love you" in Russian.
The door to which I had professed my love so many times went into depression.
6 Ways to Show that "I love you"
I love this girl very much. Right now she is my wife. I still love her as much. I want to share my love with her, show my
love to her. I sometimes do things just to show her that I love her. These are some things that I do.
love to her. I sometimes do things just to show her that I love her. These are some things that I do.
1. Watch a DVD together
This is the what I love doing. On our weekends, I'll rent a nice DVD, knowing that she will love watching. I'll prepare
some chips and red wine. Cuddling up the sofa, watching a nice movie, with chips and sipping red wine. What a romantic
night to spend with your love one.
some chips and red wine. Cuddling up the sofa, watching a nice movie, with chips and sipping red wine. What a romantic
night to spend with your love one.
2. Saying "I love you"
Married for three years, still today, I say "I love you" to my wife. This three words are the most powerful words on to show
your love. Say it not just for the sake of saying, but say it with all the feelings of love. Look into her eyes, say it
to her soul. I'll always get a hug for that.
your love. Say it not just for the sake of saying, but say it with all the feelings of love. Look into her eyes, say it
to her soul. I'll always get a hug for that.
3. Strolling after dinner
I'll bring her to the park after dinner. Strolling while holding her hand. We'll always share our dreams and life while
strolling. Catching up with each other's life due to the busy week we both had.
strolling. Catching up with each other's life due to the busy week we both had.
4. Write a book for her
I wrote a book about us and gave it to her on one of her birthday. The book says about how we met each other till we decided
to be an item. At times we'll still take out the book to read to rekindle that love that we have for each other
to be an item. At times we'll still take out the book to read to rekindle that love that we have for each other
5. Email poems to her
I usually use email for my work. Once a while I'll send love poems to her via email. This surprised her, because she knows
my habit of using emails for work only. This simple act just make her beautify her day.
my habit of using emails for work only. This simple act just make her beautify her day.
6. Handmade cards
I love to make cards. I make cards to my wife in any occasions. I want her to have the only special kind where no others
have. Only those that I made are special and unique. It doesn't need to be beautifully done up. All my cards are simple
yet unique. Some cards don't even have any drawings or designs, just a coconut tree sketch by me. Although it's simple
but it shows a lot about the love I have for her.
have. Only those that I made are special and unique. It doesn't need to be beautifully done up. All my cards are simple
yet unique. Some cards don't even have any drawings or designs, just a coconut tree sketch by me. Although it's simple
but it shows a lot about the love I have for her.
